14:30(ind)/19:00(aus)
NEWS: Half of the day is over already and I am still surviving :D.. Is it not the most amazing thing ever? and I am not even missing him desperately.. Of course.. I am thinking about him but the sudden urge to talk to him or i'll die has subsided in me to an extent for good.. and I'll spend the rest of the day in preparing for day after.. Yes it has become day after because my medicine was finished and the darn thing is closed today..so I cannot go to collect it.. :\
Wonder what they would be doing exactly at this very moment..? Hugging? Kissing? urm.. stuff? Woooo!! This is getting better I did not even feel like this whole urge to cry my heart out while typing that.. AMAZING!! I think I am happy for him because I know he is happy.. I would so kill her but thank her if she leaves him.. Urm.. kill her because that is going to upset him and thank her because then he can be back with me.. I don't know why I say "back with me" when in real he never really was with me..
Last night he mentioned that he thought I was perfect.. Well Munchkin!! If you really think I am, then why not choose me over her ? (simple enough question.. isn't it?)
She better be very much thankful to God.. because right now she is the blessed one.. Honestly I really hope she values his existence in her life.. because if she doesn't it would be such a shame..
I am kinda sinking down now.. getting all sad.. ||Sad music.. not very happy ambiance.. blogging about him..|| What else do u expect mate? All I wana do is get back in my bed.. lie down and imagine about being with him .. You(people) might just think how stupid can I get.. I used to talk the same talk until I fell in love and until I realized he is the one.. Actually with him so much on my mind.. makes him even more perfect.. This might not make sense but its true.. the more u think about something the more you adjust yourself in liking that thing.. for eg.. If you have reasons to love maths.. you will still continue loving it even if u hate a part of it and with time you will all the more like to do those brain twisting calculus problems.. CALCULUS.. that word always fascinated me.. It was one of those stylish n sophisticated words for me. although you might just think its not.. I have divided my vocabulary in classes.. yes the words I know have a class system.. ranging form extra ordinary to oh thats a nice n classy word! .. This whole thing is so not related to my blog..lol..
anyhow this blog is mine n I talk about me here.. this is my domain.. my world .. my life .. ME ME ME.. so back off.. :@(thats the angry smiley although it looks like a pig ;D)
Ok!! I am seriously sleepy now..
P.S. Ignoring the fact that I got up 2 hours ago.. but who cares.. I am on holiday.. la la la la..!
P.P.S. I miss him !
Be back soon
Love n Peace
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
2:47(ind)/7:18(aus)
Back.. I am back.. with some questions and news :)
Q1. Should I really wait for him? Of course I am gonna give it this one year while he wud b gone.. but then what after that? What if he still loves her? I would still be able to face the fact and have the satisfaction that I waited.. and hence no regrets..
But then what after that?..... I think if it is still the same then I would definitely move on..
BTW.. He is in Pune for real.. because he is goin to Nagpur for real.. I can say so because I heard the horn of the bus.. :\ (If only I was fit and not the queen Lazy, I could have even thought of being a detective and who knows I might just have found my mystery man somewhere there just like in one of the M & Bs I have read.. :|) Wonder if these stories are like the wild fantasies of their authors waiting to come true.... I might just become one of them.. well I hope I do..
Drifted back to FB for quite long..
N i am hoping right now that he has a comfortable ride and that he is able to sleep properly.. Does she care about these things? I think she would be.. why else would he be with her?
So the whole day there was no call.. I did not miss him much.. not to the extent that I had to call him or text him.. I did call him twice though but with passing time my hormones are calming themselves down :D..n then precisely at 23:22 :D :D :D .. The heart of course started pumping ten times the normal speed but who cared about dying when life was talking to me :P(too heavy.. i know)
We talked for hours.. I think now he knows every little detail of my major past.. I do not really count the flings infact I don't even remember the flings anymore honestly..! He said to me that if we stopped running behind someone that person would come back definitely.. Well Einstein!! I know it.. the problem over here is that you are THE guy and the rest are any guys.. Every time I talk to you.. you talk sense.. n i fall in love.. oh yea ! that has been the pattern since I don't even remember since how long now..Tomorrow is going to be the real test.. I mean even I don'5 know how would I react when I would be knowing that she would in his arms and he would be loving her.. something I wanted him to do to me.. well till now its not that bad.. I mean i have been surviving fine from the past 2 hours.. since he mentioned that he is goin to.. OMFG.. He would make love to her.. :(..
Why can God not see how important he is for me..?
This day witnessed a promise.. well thats b/w us.. I really do not want to mention it here and upset anyone .. not just him..
I am super tired .. would write more tomorrow..
Love n Peace
Back.. I am back.. with some questions and news :)
Q1. Should I really wait for him? Of course I am gonna give it this one year while he wud b gone.. but then what after that? What if he still loves her? I would still be able to face the fact and have the satisfaction that I waited.. and hence no regrets..
But then what after that?..... I think if it is still the same then I would definitely move on..
BTW.. He is in Pune for real.. because he is goin to Nagpur for real.. I can say so because I heard the horn of the bus.. :\ (If only I was fit and not the queen Lazy, I could have even thought of being a detective and who knows I might just have found my mystery man somewhere there just like in one of the M & Bs I have read.. :|) Wonder if these stories are like the wild fantasies of their authors waiting to come true.... I might just become one of them.. well I hope I do..
Drifted back to FB for quite long..
N i am hoping right now that he has a comfortable ride and that he is able to sleep properly.. Does she care about these things? I think she would be.. why else would he be with her?
So the whole day there was no call.. I did not miss him much.. not to the extent that I had to call him or text him.. I did call him twice though but with passing time my hormones are calming themselves down :D..n then precisely at 23:22 :D :D :D .. The heart of course started pumping ten times the normal speed but who cared about dying when life was talking to me :P(too heavy.. i know)
We talked for hours.. I think now he knows every little detail of my major past.. I do not really count the flings infact I don't even remember the flings anymore honestly..! He said to me that if we stopped running behind someone that person would come back definitely.. Well Einstein!! I know it.. the problem over here is that you are THE guy and the rest are any guys.. Every time I talk to you.. you talk sense.. n i fall in love.. oh yea ! that has been the pattern since I don't even remember since how long now..Tomorrow is going to be the real test.. I mean even I don'5 know how would I react when I would be knowing that she would in his arms and he would be loving her.. something I wanted him to do to me.. well till now its not that bad.. I mean i have been surviving fine from the past 2 hours.. since he mentioned that he is goin to.. OMFG.. He would make love to her.. :(..
Why can God not see how important he is for me..?
This day witnessed a promise.. well thats b/w us.. I really do not want to mention it here and upset anyone .. not just him..
I am super tired .. would write more tomorrow..
Love n Peace
January 16th.. Panchkula-Pune-Nagpur
13:38(ind)/ 18:08(aus)
Hey..
Wondering why I mentioned those cities in the title.. Because that is where the three of us are right now.. Well although this story is more about me but a mention would not really matter much.. I am in Panchkula, mr.X is in Pune or may be on the way to Nagpur and the ex in Nagpur of course.. oblivious to the fact that today might just become one of the most special days of her life.. God! I hate her! nothing personal.. I always hate it when people say this "Nothing Personal" .. What else man if not personal.. FOOLS!! Anyhow.. who am I to judge.. but its seems funny because I am using the same thing ... "sarcastically.. of course!"
"I am going to go to Nagpur tom.. to give her a surprise.. Plz don't tell anyone..Plz"
Two times "PLEASE rather PLZ" this guy was definitely begging me to shut up..! Ahem! Well considering the happenings from the past.. I could conclude without any regrets that he has been lying .. How the hell would I even know he is in Pune .. or even the fact that the ex is in Nagpur.. May be he just planned to spend the whole day with her and hence.. Did not want me to disturb him.. Anyhow Pune or Nagpur.. What matters is that the douche bag is with her.. and I might just more than hate him for that..
Well going back to my question.. after SMS-ing me that, what was he really expecting my reaction would be? specially after his last day in Chandigarh when he did not even bother to meet me in spite of the fact that I had almost begged him to..
Good News: Blogging is actually helping me to get over this whole dumb crap I have landed myself into..
I wonder how does the ex must look like.. Gorgeous of course! why else would he not leave her at any cost.. Coz I just know for a fact that I love him more than she could or would ever.. It has to be the looks.. else I am better than her and this is not out of gloat about myself.. I just know what kind of a person I am .. also by whatever I have heard about her from mr. X I can make out how much she loves him.. Anyhow.. he is so going to see the reality.. (wow.. I could never bring myself to say this.. I really felt that she was the fortunate one.. but not anymore.. amazing this is..)Bless the guy who discovered blogging! 0:)
P.S. Trying to tan myself!! God.. sitting in sun is such a pain..!!
Not even a single text.. He should seriously GO DIE!
Thats about it for now.. I am super bored !
Love n Peace
Hey..
Wondering why I mentioned those cities in the title.. Because that is where the three of us are right now.. Well although this story is more about me but a mention would not really matter much.. I am in Panchkula, mr.X is in Pune or may be on the way to Nagpur and the ex in Nagpur of course.. oblivious to the fact that today might just become one of the most special days of her life.. God! I hate her! nothing personal.. I always hate it when people say this "Nothing Personal" .. What else man if not personal.. FOOLS!! Anyhow.. who am I to judge.. but its seems funny because I am using the same thing ... "sarcastically.. of course!"
"I am going to go to Nagpur tom.. to give her a surprise.. Plz don't tell anyone..Plz"
Two times "PLEASE rather PLZ" this guy was definitely begging me to shut up..! Ahem! Well considering the happenings from the past.. I could conclude without any regrets that he has been lying .. How the hell would I even know he is in Pune .. or even the fact that the ex is in Nagpur.. May be he just planned to spend the whole day with her and hence.. Did not want me to disturb him.. Anyhow Pune or Nagpur.. What matters is that the douche bag is with her.. and I might just more than hate him for that..
Well going back to my question.. after SMS-ing me that, what was he really expecting my reaction would be? specially after his last day in Chandigarh when he did not even bother to meet me in spite of the fact that I had almost begged him to..
Good News: Blogging is actually helping me to get over this whole dumb crap I have landed myself into..
I wonder how does the ex must look like.. Gorgeous of course! why else would he not leave her at any cost.. Coz I just know for a fact that I love him more than she could or would ever.. It has to be the looks.. else I am better than her and this is not out of gloat about myself.. I just know what kind of a person I am .. also by whatever I have heard about her from mr. X I can make out how much she loves him.. Anyhow.. he is so going to see the reality.. (wow.. I could never bring myself to say this.. I really felt that she was the fortunate one.. but not anymore.. amazing this is..)Bless the guy who discovered blogging! 0:)
P.S. Trying to tan myself!! God.. sitting in sun is such a pain..!!
Not even a single text.. He should seriously GO DIE!
Thats about it for now.. I am super bored !
Love n Peace
Friday, January 15, 2010
Hey people..! Aah.. well noone reads it so I don't really know why am I hey-ing people.. .. Anyhow its good to be back.. around the same time of the year.. again :).. Going off the topic again .. I have realized I am quite addicted to these emoticons in my text.. I think they help.. No.. Let me rephrase myself.. They definitely help.. specially when U are not sure if the other person would take it as a joke or not.. I am sure everyone comes across such situations while texting.. Like when I am getting naughty with urm.. lets say Mr.X , I do want him to know whats on my mind but at the same time I don't want him to get any wrong signals .. If you know what I mean.. Wow.. that was one explanation for two characters in my entry *grins*..
So blogging is the last resort left.. although I am not being very optimistic about the outcome.. still it would not harm right..?
The problem? Nothing very new.. Specially not for me.. Not at all!!
OMFG there is so much to write.. Well without diverting more lets back :D.. (again! *sigh*) So there is this guy(again).. not a muslim this time :P.. (funny!) Johnian(If you have not studied in Chandigarh, you would never understand what johnians mean to Carmelites).. merchant navy, sexiest voice,I could even call him handsome, cool dude and most of all after meeting him for once I thought Chivalry was not dead..!! What relief it was to see a gentleman! someone who waited for me to pass.. or offered to pay or never let me call.. Trust me.. No effing guy does it.. Not even the dads..!(excluding mine) because after being with him only I have such expectations.. Reason:Him being the Army officer..! Anyhow getting back to what we started..
phone call! BRB..
An ex.. wants to shop with me in Delhi.. aah well alright.. as long as he pays for my food :D.. n I ain't talkin bout no KFC shit.. I am talking bout a nice meal dude.. U better b prepared.. I will not be impressed..! :P.. (P.S. I do stick my tongue out mentally whenever I type a :P smiley).. so about him.. Yea the predictable happened and once again I was hopelessly in love with him.. the only different thing this time was that he initiated it and now I am kind of trying to end this thing by being the sad long lost lover..!I still remember the first time I met him.. Surely he did look different from the pictures I had seen of him but mind it .. in a good way.. Only he can tell how he found me.. because we all compare and so he would have.. Not complaining though.. and he had bought the tickets already(awwwww..!!) The chivalry in him makes me go in the biggest "aww" mode ever! .. He is the nicest person ever in that case.. This is the third time I wandered of to FB.. Note to self: Close the FB tab when blogging.. OMG OMG OMG .. he messaged.. This happens when he replies or calls me :).. just a normal natural reaction.. *geee* so.. we sat.. n he said "I love you" My favourite skirt will rip apart the next time I wore it if I am exaggerating .. but it felt as if I had found the one.. that one jiff created this whole new world for me.. where it was just me and him.. not my ex boy friends.. not the snooty frenz not his ex gf..! (P.S. He said it).. and then I was all the more in love with him.. of course.!! What would you do if your dream man/woman was right there saying I love you .. Trust me.. If asked I would have done pole dancing in public for that matter.. I was so super happy .. and we had a thing for a while and then I went on this trip with my family and frenz for 3 weeks and that is when the most horrible thing(It was horrible only for me.. he was more than ecstatic) .. he got back with the ex.. and thats how the two X-es were together(since I named him mr.X above).. n became 2X.. I know stupid PJ .. My sense of humor is seriously rotting along with the my happiness somewhere.. I am best at being depressed.. insanely imagining being with him and crying on demand.. yes that is what I am doing good at right now.. I was still touring India pretending to be more excited with each boring monument where as from the inside I wanted to cry out loud and may be put a fight with him for doing this to me.. more than him with myself for falling in love with him so madly.. and it has been going on.. the struggle to move on or to face reality is still on..we talked about it million times.. he says I am his special friend.. I say its bull shit( only to myself.. you see I don't want him to have any reason to leave me) of course ! I sound like a loser right now! .. its that clear..!
FB (again) :\
I love him..
what do I do.. I would rather settle down on having some part of him than nothing at all.. :( .. with the wish that me and him get back together someday somehow.. I would like to end this entry.. I'll update regularly(cross my heart and hope to die)..
P.S. Trust me.. I don't just sound melodramatic.. it has been happening for real! in my life..
P.P.S.. I would like this entry to b raw.. Unedited..!
LOVE n PEACE
So blogging is the last resort left.. although I am not being very optimistic about the outcome.. still it would not harm right..?
The problem? Nothing very new.. Specially not for me.. Not at all!!
OMFG there is so much to write.. Well without diverting more lets back :D.. (again! *sigh*) So there is this guy(again).. not a muslim this time :P.. (funny!) Johnian(If you have not studied in Chandigarh, you would never understand what johnians mean to Carmelites).. merchant navy, sexiest voice,I could even call him handsome, cool dude and most of all after meeting him for once I thought Chivalry was not dead..!! What relief it was to see a gentleman! someone who waited for me to pass.. or offered to pay or never let me call.. Trust me.. No effing guy does it.. Not even the dads..!(excluding mine) because after being with him only I have such expectations.. Reason:Him being the Army officer..! Anyhow getting back to what we started..
phone call! BRB..
An ex.. wants to shop with me in Delhi.. aah well alright.. as long as he pays for my food :D.. n I ain't talkin bout no KFC shit.. I am talking bout a nice meal dude.. U better b prepared.. I will not be impressed..! :P.. (P.S. I do stick my tongue out mentally whenever I type a :P smiley).. so about him.. Yea the predictable happened and once again I was hopelessly in love with him.. the only different thing this time was that he initiated it and now I am kind of trying to end this thing by being the sad long lost lover..!I still remember the first time I met him.. Surely he did look different from the pictures I had seen of him but mind it .. in a good way.. Only he can tell how he found me.. because we all compare and so he would have.. Not complaining though.. and he had bought the tickets already(awwwww..!!) The chivalry in him makes me go in the biggest "aww" mode ever! .. He is the nicest person ever in that case.. This is the third time I wandered of to FB.. Note to self: Close the FB tab when blogging.. OMG OMG OMG .. he messaged.. This happens when he replies or calls me :).. just a normal natural reaction.. *geee* so.. we sat.. n he said "I love you" My favourite skirt will rip apart the next time I wore it if I am exaggerating .. but it felt as if I had found the one.. that one jiff created this whole new world for me.. where it was just me and him.. not my ex boy friends.. not the snooty frenz not his ex gf..! (P.S. He said it).. and then I was all the more in love with him.. of course.!! What would you do if your dream man/woman was right there saying I love you .. Trust me.. If asked I would have done pole dancing in public for that matter.. I was so super happy .. and we had a thing for a while and then I went on this trip with my family and frenz for 3 weeks and that is when the most horrible thing(It was horrible only for me.. he was more than ecstatic) .. he got back with the ex.. and thats how the two X-es were together(since I named him mr.X above).. n became 2X.. I know stupid PJ .. My sense of humor is seriously rotting along with the my happiness somewhere.. I am best at being depressed.. insanely imagining being with him and crying on demand.. yes that is what I am doing good at right now.. I was still touring India pretending to be more excited with each boring monument where as from the inside I wanted to cry out loud and may be put a fight with him for doing this to me.. more than him with myself for falling in love with him so madly.. and it has been going on.. the struggle to move on or to face reality is still on..we talked about it million times.. he says I am his special friend.. I say its bull shit( only to myself.. you see I don't want him to have any reason to leave me) of course ! I sound like a loser right now! .. its that clear..!
FB (again) :\
I love him..
what do I do.. I would rather settle down on having some part of him than nothing at all.. :( .. with the wish that me and him get back together someday somehow.. I would like to end this entry.. I'll update regularly(cross my heart and hope to die)..
P.S. Trust me.. I don't just sound melodramatic.. it has been happening for real! in my life..
P.P.S.. I would like this entry to b raw.. Unedited..!
LOVE n PEACE
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