Hey people..! Aah.. well noone reads it so I don't really know why am I hey-ing people.. .. Anyhow its good to be back.. around the same time of the year.. again :).. Going off the topic again .. I have realized I am quite addicted to these emoticons in my text.. I think they help.. No.. Let me rephrase myself.. They definitely help.. specially when U are not sure if the other person would take it as a joke or not.. I am sure everyone comes across such situations while texting.. Like when I am getting naughty with urm.. lets say Mr.X , I do want him to know whats on my mind but at the same time I don't want him to get any wrong signals .. If you know what I mean.. Wow.. that was one explanation for two characters in my entry *grins*..
So blogging is the last resort left.. although I am not being very optimistic about the outcome.. still it would not harm right..?
The problem? Nothing very new.. Specially not for me.. Not at all!!
OMFG there is so much to write.. Well without diverting more lets back :D.. (again! *sigh*) So there is this guy(again).. not a muslim this time :P.. (funny!) Johnian(If you have not studied in Chandigarh, you would never understand what johnians mean to Carmelites).. merchant navy, sexiest voice,I could even call him handsome, cool dude and most of all after meeting him for once I thought Chivalry was not dead..!! What relief it was to see a gentleman! someone who waited for me to pass.. or offered to pay or never let me call.. Trust me.. No effing guy does it.. Not even the dads..!(excluding mine) because after being with him only I have such expectations.. Reason:Him being the Army officer..! Anyhow getting back to what we started..
phone call! BRB..
An ex.. wants to shop with me in Delhi.. aah well alright.. as long as he pays for my food :D.. n I ain't talkin bout no KFC shit.. I am talking bout a nice meal dude.. U better b prepared.. I will not be impressed..! :P.. (P.S. I do stick my tongue out mentally whenever I type a :P smiley).. so about him.. Yea the predictable happened and once again I was hopelessly in love with him.. the only different thing this time was that he initiated it and now I am kind of trying to end this thing by being the sad long lost lover..!I still remember the first time I met him.. Surely he did look different from the pictures I had seen of him but mind it .. in a good way.. Only he can tell how he found me.. because we all compare and so he would have.. Not complaining though.. and he had bought the tickets already(awwwww..!!) The chivalry in him makes me go in the biggest "aww" mode ever! .. He is the nicest person ever in that case.. This is the third time I wandered of to FB.. Note to self: Close the FB tab when blogging.. OMG OMG OMG .. he messaged.. This happens when he replies or calls me :).. just a normal natural reaction.. *geee* so.. we sat.. n he said "I love you" My favourite skirt will rip apart the next time I wore it if I am exaggerating .. but it felt as if I had found the one.. that one jiff created this whole new world for me.. where it was just me and him.. not my ex boy friends.. not the snooty frenz not his ex gf..! (P.S. He said it).. and then I was all the more in love with him.. of course.!! What would you do if your dream man/woman was right there saying I love you .. Trust me.. If asked I would have done pole dancing in public for that matter.. I was so super happy .. and we had a thing for a while and then I went on this trip with my family and frenz for 3 weeks and that is when the most horrible thing(It was horrible only for me.. he was more than ecstatic) .. he got back with the ex.. and thats how the two X-es were together(since I named him mr.X above).. n became 2X.. I know stupid PJ .. My sense of humor is seriously rotting along with the my happiness somewhere.. I am best at being depressed.. insanely imagining being with him and crying on demand.. yes that is what I am doing good at right now.. I was still touring India pretending to be more excited with each boring monument where as from the inside I wanted to cry out loud and may be put a fight with him for doing this to me.. more than him with myself for falling in love with him so madly.. and it has been going on.. the struggle to move on or to face reality is still on..we talked about it million times.. he says I am his special friend.. I say its bull shit( only to myself.. you see I don't want him to have any reason to leave me) of course ! I sound like a loser right now! .. its that clear..!
FB (again) :\
I love him..
what do I do.. I would rather settle down on having some part of him than nothing at all.. :( .. with the wish that me and him get back together someday somehow.. I would like to end this entry.. I'll update regularly(cross my heart and hope to die)..
P.S. Trust me.. I don't just sound melodramatic.. it has been happening for real! in my life..
P.P.S.. I would like this entry to b raw.. Unedited..!
LOVE n PEACE